As we entered Relief Society, we were handed a yellow ribbon tied to a button and soon discovered that the ribbon represented a “ray of light” from our Heavenly Father.  The Relief Society president invited us to remember and share experiences we have had in receiving “rays of light” from heaven.  Through the lesson and day, my memory ranged from my childhood to recent experiences, some of my most enduring “spiritually defining moments.”

 

As a young mother feeling stretched with a three year old and a one year old, I had the feeling that another child was ready to come.  Like Peter jumping out of the boat, we were soon thrilled to find that I was expecting our third child.  Morning sickness began, tears came easily, the fatigue was overwhelming, and like Peter walking on the water, doubt came and I began to sink.    My prayers intensified but there was no hand to lift me out of the water and day after day, week after week, month after month, I felt like I was treading water with my head barely above the surface.  Just weeks before the birth of our baby, the young women in our ward were performing a musical number in our sacrament meeting.  I listened to their strong voices and recalled the confidence and testimony I had felt as a young woman.  Tears streamed down my face as I wondered what had happened to that young woman who was now just barely hanging on.  I do not know how it happened.  It wasn’t a burst of strength, peace, clarity or understanding, rather it felt like the slow lifting of the fog, day by day, week by week, until I was once again standing in the sun with enlarged capacity,  more confidence, and increased strength.

 

“Rather than sending us a pillar of light, the Lord sends us a ray of light, and then another, and another….Line upon line, precept upon precept, here a ray and there a ray-one small, treasured spiritual moment at a time-there grows up within us a core of light-filled, spiritual experiences…[and] together they can become a light that the darkness of doubt cannot overcome.” (Elder Alexander Dushku, April 2024). We can gather rays that will sustain us, lift us and form a pillar to give us faith and hope in the darkness of our days.