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Relief

Nineteen years ago, our only daughter made her entrance into the world.  She was a 7 lb 12 ounce delight and we were smitten.  While we revelled in her perfection, my healing did not progress as anticipated.   A team of doctors with varying specialties was assembled.  A procedure to place a filter for a large blood clot forming right beneath my heart was recommended and the doctor who was the most skilled walked off the plane at the end of a family vacation and came straight to the hospital.    Along with the blood clot, I was also bleeding internally.  As healthy as I had been just days before and as much as I wanted to live, it became clear that I was unable to sustain life on my own. Like the Savior who gave His blood to redeem us, someone else’s blood was introduced into my body and it did for me what I could not do for myself, it gave me life.  For the doctors and nurses who spent years and years honing their skills and for the people who sat in a chair donating blood, I may not even be a memory, but their efforts, their gifts brought relief to me and my family, sustaining my life until I could again sustain it on my own.

While my husband remained with me, my mother, who was dealing with health challenges of her own, took our newly discharged baby home for the remaining weeks I would spend in the hospital.  Mom was soon joined by my eighty year old grandma who volunteered for the night shift sleeping in the same room with our daughter, rocking, feeding and talking to her when everyone else was asleep.  Our young adult neighbor cared for our boys during the day, Relief Society sisters brought meals and signed up to come cuddle and nurture our baby and each night my dad slept at our house so our three boys could stay in their own beds.  This army of angels, acting in similitude of our Savior, brought not only physical relief but relief to the heart of a young mother unable to care for her family.

“What is relief? It is the removal or lightening of something painful, troubling, or burdensome, or the strength to endure it….

“We ‘succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.’ ‘bear … one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.’  As we do, we come to know Him, become like Him, and find His relief.” (President Camille N. Johnson, April 2023). As we walk together, sharing the relief of Jesus Christ, we come to know His deep love for each of His children and for us.

#JesusChristisRelief

Water Everywhere

This week I attended a service event highlighting a group that among other things seeks to bring clean water to the people of Kenya.  During the event, a Kenyan woman, Anita, delineated some of the conditions in her native country.  She described the hours women walk to the springs that supply them and their families with water.  She told how often those springs are unprotected and used by both people and animals creating a muddy mess and disseminating disease.  She recounted that in some areas of Kenya, it is not uncommon for a person to go 2 or 3 days without water.  
 
With that introduction, she expressed her confusion when she was kindly offered a water bottle to take with her on the drive to the event.  “Why would I carry water when it is everywhere?” she asked.  As she pointed to the row of glass water dispensers lined up near the refreshment table, I could also see the sink in the kitchen just off the serving area and the sign for the bathroom down the hall.  I have a water bottle on the nightstand by my bed, next to my computer, and in my car.  Water cleans, removes waste and pours from multiple faucets throughout my house. We are surrounded by water. 
 
Likewise, the Savior offers us the refreshing water of His presence.  “…The water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14). We can carry His word, in scripture and from the mouths of His prophets, with us.  We can access His peace that passeth understanding and be cleansed through the sanctifying power of His atonement.  We can seek refuge in His holy house and join ourselves to Him and His strength through covenants.  We can emulate Him with our every good desire and effort and spread His love.  “Come,…everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters…For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring…therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.” (2 Nephi 9:50, Isaiah 44:3, 2 Nephi 22:3) His water is everywhere.

Wait with Me

At the funeral of his father, my cousin’s husband shared a story.  “When I was four or five, I remember a night when I found breathing to be difficult and Dad and I went outside to breathe the cold air.  It was pitch black, I felt my dad’s hand gently resting on my shoulder and whispering that I was going to be ok.  He was right, the brisk air did help and I was able to relax … I learned early in my life…[Dad] will wait with me, no matter the concern, no matter the question, he waits with me.  His hand will be gentle and his support will be felt.” (Lon Stone, February 2, 2024)  
 
He continued, “Of all the waiting I have seen my dad demonstrate, it’s his dedication and desire to wait on the Lord that impresses me the most.  I’ve only known Dad to pursue or surrender to the Lord’s will.  As a result I’ve witnessed a disciple of Christ become a friend unto the Lord. 
 
My dad waited on the Lord and as a result, knew how to wait with me…” (Ibid)
 
We all have days where we feel like we are in the dark, struggling to breathe, but we aren’t there alone.  There is the gentle hand of our Father resting on our shoulder and a quiet voice whispering that we will be ok.  As we trust the Lord and wait with Him, we can trust His care for those we wait with, knowing that no matter the concern, no matter the question, He will be there with us.

His Work

Recently, we were assigned to help clean our ward building.  Our team included a family with an older Primary child who was enthusiastic to help.  As I worked my way around the building disinfecting countertops, I found this child in the kitchen happily wielding a large mop and bucket.  It was a lot to manage but the child didn’t seem to mind and was pleased with the job.  As the child left the kitchen, it was easy for me to mop up a little of the extra water on the floor and quickly wipe up any spots that had been missed.  As I finished, I thought about all the ways the Lord lets us help long before we have any expertise.  Though our early efforts can be messy, He is not discouraged.  He is completely capable of doing all the work but delights in our desire and efforts to work beside Him.  
 
As an apprentice would bind themselves to a master to learn a trade, we bind ourselves to God ensuring our place in His classroom and workshop where we learn to become like Him.  “‘Once you and I have made a covenant with God, our relationship with Him becomes much closer than before our covenant.  Now we are bound together.  Because of our covenant with God, He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us.  Each of us has a special place in God’s heart…Jesus Christ is the guarantor of those covenants.’  If we will remember this, the Lord’s high hopes for us will inspire, not discourage, us.” (Elder D. Todd Christofferson quoting President Russell M. Nelson, October 2022)
 
Though the apprentices are learning and training, our Master is so powerful He brings quality to our clumsiest attempts. The Lord does His work with us “helping”, His work is us. In His care, we can  “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power;…then…stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (D&C 123:17)  He is doing His work in us.
 
 

Love the Life You Have

Thirty four years ago today, Kelsi Craven was born.  I didn’t meet her until she was nine years old and my husband and I and our infant son moved into the house next door to the Cravens.  Kelsi’s body was afflicted with muscular dystrophy which stole bits of her movement and body throughout her life but with determination and courage, she changed her disease from an affliction into a pulpit.  

She graduated from Davis High School with honors, she graduated from seminary and in the evening I loved to hear the laughter and chatter of her teenage friends floating to our yard from the Craven’s back deck.  Her determination was supported by the incredible effort of her family and by a devoted neighbor who was Kelsi’s aide at school and who I often caught walking through the early morning dark past my window when extra help for Kelsi was needed.

Duplicating that care away from home seemed impossible but as her friends prepared to go to college, Kelsi voiced her steel.  “I would rather die than live with you and dad for the rest of my life,” she told her mother, and so her parents with deep love set aside their own fears and began to help her find a way.  Kelsi graduated cum laude in social work from Utah State University where she served on the student council advocating for changes to make conventional education more attainable for people with disabilities.  She was selected as the runner up for Miss Wheelchair Utah and had begun work on her Masters of Social Work at BYU when a car accident set in motion complications that took her life nine years ago. 

Kelsi shared her own view of her life.  “I used to stand, walk, ride horses and four wheelers and much more.  Those eventually got taken away from me.  Do I miss it?  Of course.  Do I dwell on the fact I can’t do some of the things I used to love?  No.  Why?  It is a depressing waste of time that gets me no where in life.  I am lucky to find much joy in what I can do….Go live and love the life you have.  It’s the only one you will ever get on this earth, don’t waste that gift.”

Some testimonies are shared in word and some testimonies are lived.  The power of God is made manifest not just through healing but through ordinary people whose faith and courage in their challenges allows goodness, hope, kindness, charity, and strength to radiate from them as well.  “Live and Love the life you have” and just like Kelsi, God will make Himself manifest in you. (John 9:3)

Better Nature

As the American Revolution wound to a close, the Continental Congress, reliant on the contributions of the states for income, had failed to follow through on promised payments to soldiers.  While Congress debated their financial fate, several high ranking officers began gathering support to use their skills and resources to force the hand of the government to receive their due.  Learning of their plans, General George Washington made the journey to Newburgh, New York to address the officers and soldiers.  He outlined the cause for which they they had fought and condemned “any who wishes, under any specious pretenses, to overturn the liberties of our Country, & who wickedly attempts to open the flood gates of civil discord, & deluge our rising empire in blood.”  He brought with him a letter from Senator Joseph Jones of Virginia, promising the good intentions of Congress.  Unable to read the letter, Washington reached for his pocket, ““Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have not only grown gray but almost blind in service of my country.”  Tempers were tamed, patience renewed and the fledgling United States of America did not turn on itself.  
 

In 1861, with several southern states seceding from the United States, the newly inaugurated President Abraham Lincoln encouraged, “We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” While it is easy to speak the words, Lincoln also set an example, naming his political rivals, including an abolitionist from New York and a former slaveholder from Missouri, to his cabinet where he listened to disparate views and built bridges throughout his presidency.

On President’s Day, we celebrate in gratitude leaders who during dark days have set aside anger and hostility and encouraged us to listen, have faith in liberty, remember all that we share and give heed to “the better angels of our nature.”

George Washington Source
Abraham Lincoln Source

Let Him Warm You

My childhood home had three woodburning stoves, two in the basement, one on the main floor and a pile of wood that was always stacked next to the back wall of the house.  Our home which was close to the mouth of the canyon felt the powerful east winds and one winter a snow and wind storm knocked out the power for several days and made travel treacherous.  Once when dad left the house to get wood from the pile, the wind blew him into the wall.  No one else was allowed outside.  We gathered blankets and pillows making beds on the floor in the room with the main floor stove.  We played games, cooked grilled cheese and soup on top of the stove and even whipped up cookie dough that we baked pancake style in a pan.  We watched out the large front window as the wind created an ever changing landscape of drifted snow, warm and happy next to the fire.

In an interview Archbishop Desmond Tutu was asked, “Have you found that your relationship to God has changed as you’ve grown older?”  He responded, “Yes. I am learning to shut up more in the presence of God….previously, I… ha[d] a kind of shopping list that you bring to God. But more and more, I think you are trying to grow in just being there. Like when you sit in front of a fire in winter, you are just there in front of the fire, and you don’t have to be smart or anything. The fire warms you.” (Interview by Renee Montagne, March 11, 2010)

“I think that is a lovely metaphor—just sit with the Lord and let Him warm you like a fire in winter. You don’t have to be perfect or the greatest person who ever graced the earth or the best of anything to be with Him.  I hope you will take time…to sit for a few quiet moments and let the Savior’s Spirit warm you and reassure you of the worthiness of your service, of your offering, of your life….come away spiritually strengthened and better prepared for all that is going to come later. Let that moment be one of rest and refreshing and reassurance and renewal.” (Elder D. Todd Christofferson, Ensign, December 2015)

While winds and storms rage around us, we can draw close to the fire of His love to warm and sustain us.

Let us be Faithful

I have been helping my dad work on his personal history and pondering the arc of a life where seemingly small events became pivotal moments that have reverberated through generations.  While sorting through a box of papers, I ran across a letter I had written to my missionary brother almost twenty seven years ago describing a night that had occurred several years earlier.  I had graduated from college, started my first full time job and was feeling that the Lord had led me to a place I did not want to be. 
 
“I was not happy.” I wrote, “I was shocked to find thoughts of doubt creeping into my mind.  I wanted my own will so badly that I couldn’t see clearly.  I remember one night spent crying, not only tears of unhappiness but tears of anger.  I was startled to realize that I was following the road of pride and destruction.  I had always felt that no matter what I would be faithful, nothing could shake me, but here I was shaken over something so small….I straightened up…I have learned so much.  I am so much stronger.  I have never been happier in my life.  I marvel at how good the Lord is to me and am so grateful that my will was not exerted over the Lord’s plan for me.  He has blessed and prospered me in ways I had not thought possible.  He has given me marvelous opportunities.  I am so grateful.” (June 26, 1997)
 
I recounted the story to my brother to explain a new situation I was facing.  While praying for a much hoped for outcome, I received a prompting that I believed ran counter to my desires.  I “had myself a good cry [as] my mind struggled between what I wanted and what I had been impressed to do. The Lord has never harmed me.  He has blessed, prospered, loved and protected me, and this situation is not an exception….The desires of my heart will not go unfulfilled.  I have felt at peace.  The last three years have taught me how to be faithful….As the hymn goes, ‘We doubt not the Lord nor His goodness, we have proved Him in days that are past.'” (Ibid)
 
Now, with nearly three decades of hindsight, the wisdom of God in that moment astounds me.  We can trust in the Lord and His goodness. He knows and loves us more than we can understand.  He wants our happiness more than we want it ourselves.  “Wherefore, let us be faithful to him.” (1 Nephi 7:12)

Scratch and Dent

I was moving into student housing for fall semester of my freshman year at BYU.  The parking lot was full of students and cars and every person walking back and forth was carrying something.  In the days before back up cameras, I cautiously backed my car out of the parking stall with my eyes watching out the back window.  I was almost out when I heard a dreaded crunch as the front of my car nicked the back end of the car in the stall next to me.  Though the dents on both cars were small, I felt sick.  I left a note with my name and phone number on the car I’d hit and went into my apartment to call my parents.  My dad picked up the phone, I explained what had happened, and waited through the moment of silence.  He gave me our insurance agent’s phone number and then to my surprise, he chuckled and told me of a time he had performed well at an athletic event.  With the adrenaline of post game exuberance, he pulled his car too sharply into his parent’s driveway and nicked the edge their house.  Though my situation remained the same, I smiled.

Remarkably, a couple of weeks passed without a phone call about the dent I had caused.  Then while making a quick trip with one of my new roommates, I was surprised to find the car I had hit was hers.  “Did you see my note?” I asked.  She replied that the scratch wasn’t enough to notice and not to worry about it.  She never mentioned it again. 

While mortals do not always react with kindness and circumstances are rarely erased, the Lord leaves no doubt about how He will respond when we reach out to Him.  “I am He that comforteth you…Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive;” (2 Nephi 8:12; 3 Nephi 9:14). Whether we turn to Him or not is completely up to us, how He will greet us when we do is assured.

Small Steps

One of the blessings of living in the same place for so many years is the opportunity to observe people over a lifetime.  This week I attended sacrament meeting in a neighboring ward and found Sister Ockey at the organ. As I listened to the prelude, I could see her in my mind playing the same organ forty years earlier for stake meetings.  Her hair has turned white now and her steps have slowed.  Feeling gratitude for her many years of service I watched her carefully make her way to her seat.  As she neared the bench where her husband was sitting, he reached out, took her hand and held it as she walked past him and settled in next to him.  
 
It was a tender, small gesture.  It took little time or energy yet it caused me to ponder how small acts, repeated over and over again change a life, change a relationship, change a family.  Perhaps the impact of our loving words, generous thoughts, and small efforts cannot be measured on their own, but the results when multiplied over a lifetime can produce our greatest blessings.  “Happiness does not spring from perfection but from applying divine principles even in small steps”  again and again and again.  (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Ensign, October 2012)
 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2012/10/one-key-to-a-happy-family?lang=eng